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Funny Dating Quotes

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My philosophy of dating
is to just fart right away.

The whole dating ritual
was different when I was a kid.
Girls got pinned, not nailed.

Yeah, I'm kind of lazy.
I'm dating a pregnant woman.

(Read Related : Marriage quotes)

Dating is so insecure.
My last relationship,
I was always there for her
and she dumped me.
I told her about it. I said,
"Remember when your grandma died?
I was there.
Remember when you flunked out of school?
I was there.
Remember when you lost your job?
I was there!"
She said, "I know
- you're bad luck."

My grandmother's 90.
She's dating. He's about 93.
It's going great.
They never argue.
They can't hear each other.

Employees make the best dates.
You don't have to pick them up
and they're always tax-deductible.

I've been dating since I was fifteen.
I'm exhausted. Where is he?

(Read Related : Quotes for your girlfriend)

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview,
that lasts all night.
The only difference between
a date and a job interview is:
not many job-interviews
is there a chance you'll end up
naked at the end of it.

I'm dating a homeless woman.
It was easier talking her into staying over.

I have no luck with women.
I once went on a date
and asked the woman
if she'd brought any protection.
She pulled a switchblade on me.

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