Your Boyfriend , Marriage
For Your Girlfriend , Valentines
Wait for the boy who pursues you.
The one who will make
an ordinary moment seem magical;
the kind of boy who brings out the best in you
and makes you want to be a better person.
Wait for the boy who will be your best friend;
the person who will drop everything
to be with you at any time of the day
no matter what the circumstances.
Wait for the boy who makes you smile
like no other boy makes you smile,
and when he smiles you know he needs you.
Wait for the boy who wants to show you off
to the world when you are in sweats
and have no makeup on,
but appreciates it when
you get all dolled up for him.
And most of all,
wait for the boy who will put you
at the center of his universe,
because obviously he's at the center of yours.
Love is an earthquake…
unpredictable, a little scary,
but when the hard part is over,
you realize how lucky you are.
The other way to get married
is a lot more fun,
a lot more rational,
and a lot more successful.
It's called dating.
Women flirt to keep their stock high,
men to get somewhere.
A member of the opposite sex
in your acquaintance who has some flaw
which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
Relationships are hard.
It's like a full-time job,
and we should treat it like one.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you,
they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be severance pay,
and before they leave you,
they should have to find you a temp.
To keep your
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong,
Whenever you're right,
I don't understand why Cupid
was chosen to represent Valentine's Day.
When I think about romance,
the last thing on my mind is a short,
chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
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