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Words For Wedding

 

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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.

I know nothing about sex,
because I was always married.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.

Love is an ideal thing,
marriage a real thing;
a confusion of the real
with the ideal never goes unpunished.

I never hated a man enough
to give him his diamonds back.

Come live with me, and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
With silken lines, and silver hooks.

Husbands are like fires.
They go out if unattended.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams.

I'm an excellent housekeeper.
Every time I get a divorce,
I keep the house.

Thank heaven.
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists,
in contrast to women,
who are romantic dreamers
and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream
must do something or they couldn't charge
sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar.

 

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