I woke up the next morning with this strange feeling inside
me. I don’t know why but I find it disturbing. Then
I remembered that Ji Won and I are going to get married
soon, it subsided.
When I went downstairs, my stepmom was holding that wooden
stick I haven’t seen in years. I began to panic. She
whacked me with it. I fell down surprised.
“Where’s Ji Won?” she screamed at me.
I was so confused and surprised I didn’t know what
she was talking about. She kept hitting me and telling me
to answer her. But how can I answer when I don’t even
know myself? Then something unusual happened. My dad grabbed
the stick away from my stepmom.
“Stop hitting her! Can’t you tell that she can’t
think straight through all that pain?”
My stepmom was shocked and she kept her mouth shut because
my dad never did that to her before. “Mina,”
my dad said to me, holding my hand. “Ji Won ran away
from home again. He’s no longer in Hawaii and the
wedding’s canceled.”
“He left?” I asked blankly.
My dad nodded his head sadly. “How can he leave me?”
I asked standing up. My stepmom’s next words hit me
hard and cold like ice.
“He probably left because he didn’t want to
marry you.”
I sunk to my knees and fell to the floor. I began to sob
to myself. My parents left the room, leaving me alone. ‘How
can you leave me, Ji Won? Were all those promises of taking
care of me lies?’
I loved Ji Won so much. All I ever wanted is to be with
him, even if he did only consider me as a dongsang. I needed
to know why he left. Being with him all this time, I knew
where he went.
I’ll search all of Korea if I had to…
One year later…
During this year, my life of hell had return. I managed
to save up enough money for a ticket to Korea and money
to spend. I had to work odd hours so my stepmom wouldn’t
find out or she’ll take the money from me. I also
had to sell some of Ji Won’s gifts to me.
He was a really generous oppa who would buy me a lot of
expensive clothes, jewelry, perfume, and just about anything
that I wanted. I figured he wouldn’t mind because
they’re just material possessions. They were a big
help because I managed to trade them in for a lot of money.
July 24, 1997
I finally had enough money to leave. It took me a while
to go because I knew chances are low of finding Ji Won right
away. I needed extra money for my search and I had to pay
double for a fake I.D. You could say that I have almost
everything planned out. I got a pretty good amount so I
planned on leaving today.
It’s been a little over a year since Ji Won left me
with no reason or explanation. I’ve gotten so much
thinner because I couldn’t eat or sleep and I miss
him so much. The problem I still had facing me were my parents.
I know they were not going to let me leave.
I was only 17. Damn. Still a minor. This year had been total
hell for me and I can’t stand another year of it.
I had to leave and I had a plan. I was going to fake my
death. It was all so perfect. My family had to go out to
a luau with Mr. Eun. He still keeps in touch with us. I
guess it’s because he thinks I might know where Ji
Won is. Truth is, I have no idea except I know Ji Won’s
somewhere in Korea.
I planned to fake a drowning. Because of my heart failure,
it helped me close off my air circulation for up to 4 minutes.
This time I am using it to let my family think that I have
drowned and the tides drifted my body to sea so I will never
be found…
But before I go I had to say goodbye to my father. I hugged
him hard. He looked at me surprised.
“What was that for?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t for anything dad.
I did it because I love you.”
My dad had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry
Mina. I’m so worthless as your father.”
“No you’re not but you have to do what’s
right dad. Don’t let anyone stop you and stop putting
yourself down.”
He nodded his head. I hugged him for the last time.
“I’m going for a swim okay?”
He nodded his head and watched me head toward the ocean.
The plan went perfect. I stayed underwater for a while and
swam myself to the other side of the beach where they couldn’t
see me.
All my belongings were there. I got on the dock and sailed
to the mainland airport leaving Hawaii forever…
